摄影:Lee Pellegrini
指路明灯
Steve Pemberton ' 89讨论过 灯塔效应, his new book about the mentors, 老师, and 朋友 谁 selflessly guide us along life’s voyage.
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2012年，Steve Pemberton ' 89, H ' 15, M ' 19, P ' 23出版 世界上的一个机会, an acclaimed memoir chronicling his journey from a childhood spent in cruel foster homes to an adulthood of happiness and success. 它传达了韧性的信息, 信仰, 和家人, the book became a best-seller and inspired a 2017 movie of the same name. 9月，彭伯顿发布了他的后续作品， 灯塔效应: How Ordinary People Can Have an Extraordinary Impact in the World. 在新书中, 彭伯顿写了他所谓的“人类灯塔”——导师, 老师, 朋友, 还有那些在人生旅途中无私指引我们的同事. 我最近和彭伯顿谈过这本书, 那些帮助他成为今天的他的人, and whether the lighthouses among us can lead the nation to a more unified tomorrow. 为了清晰和篇幅的考虑，我们的谈话经过了轻微的编辑.
Your new book is about the people we encounter 谁 believe in us, mentor us, and help us. 你称它们为“灯塔”.“这是为什么??
The lighthouse serves no purpose other than to be of service to someone else, 尤指在不确定或非常困难的时候. 有超过22个,全世界有900座灯塔, 但它们都有着非常相似的使命, 那就是指引航海家的旅程. 灯塔是谦逊的, 它是坚定的, 它不求回报, 不需要认可, 而且你付不起. The best elements of the lighthouse are also the best elements of humanity.
就像你的第一本书， 灯塔效应 是非常个人化的.
在书中, 我写了十个人，他们是我的灯塔, 我在旅途中遇到了谁的生活或故事. 我写的第一个是约翰·赛克斯. 他是在我16岁时收留我的高中老师, 圣诞节后三天, 我真的无处可去. 我想分享的不仅仅是他的故事, but what it was about him that compelled him in that moment to put a pause on his life to take in this young boy 谁 for 所有 intents and purposes had been cast off into the shadows of society. 当时, 我对自己的可能性有很多怀疑, 他在很多方面指引了我的道路.
他是怎么做到的?
我的童年, 我发现自己在这些非常, 非常困难的寄养家庭, 一个没有家人记忆的地方. 实际上，我已经被我的父母遗忘了. I had questions of value and worth that any child would have in that situation. 约翰的魔力是让我知道挣扎, 以及我在这场斗争中挺身而出的能力, 这难道不是我怀疑的原因吗, 但其实应该是力量的源泉. Unfortunately, we lost John earlier this year, but his magic will always be with me.
是什么激发了你的写作灵感 灯塔效应?
其中一个驱动因素是对第一本书的反应. 世界上的一个机会 刚刚找到了一个观众，并继续找到一个观众, 很大程度上是因为, 尽管当时我并不这么认为, 我在写这个关于家庭和信仰的普遍故事. And one of my biggest takeaways from the response to the book was how many seemingly ordinary people are out there in the world 谁se lives, 对我来说, 对我们所有人都有教育意义吗. 你开始问自己这个问题， 我们在追随谁，又是谁 应该 我们跟着? What I’m trying to suggest in the new book is that it’s the everyday people. 他们开车送我们的孩子上学, 在大流行期间，谁在我们的杂货店货架上进货, 谁给我们在护士办公室登记的. 他们的生活和他们的经验教训对我们来说是如此强大, 我们不需要把英雄主义让给名人和消息灵通的人. That’s not to say there aren’t heroes in those places, but that’s not the only places where they are.
You argue in the book that this kind of leadership can bridge the divides we have in America right now.
是的，这难道不是灯塔的一个伟大的特点吗? When it sees you in the middle of a storm, it does not ask how you came to be there. 它不会质疑你的导航能力, 它不会指着你说, “难道你不明白吗?” It does not care about your race, your gender, 谁 you voted for in the last election. 换句话说, a lighthouse sees your humanity first and it also sees your uncertainty and says, “我可以带你到安全港.“人们就是这样. The most impactful people in our lives are the ones 谁 have done that for us, 所以我们才会如此深情地记得他们.
你写的就是这样一个女人, 卡门Ortiz-McGhee, 谁都没意识到她对你的影响.
我在火车上偶遇卡门当时我正在写我的第一本书. I’m explaining the book and I said, “I’m trying to write about parents I never knew.我说的意思是:“这有意义吗??” I believed that, well, of course it wouldn’t because everybody knows what it is to have parents. 但她回答说:“嗯，实际上是这样的.” Because a few years prior to that she had met her father for the very first time. 而不是因为他不在她的生活中而生气或痛苦, 她理解他生活中的困难, 他们建立了很好的关系. What she didn’t realize is that she made me revisit how I saw my mother and father, 谁, 坦率地说, I probably had not completely forgiven for what had unfolded in my childhood. 但她不知道她在做这件事——她在告诉我这个故事, 她父亲团聚的故事, and she has no idea that I’m processing it that way until some time later.
So the lesson is that even when we’re not actively focused on mentoring or helping, 我们仍然可以影响世界上的人们?
The lesson is that your life experience is enough to be a lighthouse, just as it is.
“灯塔是谦逊的, 它是坚定的, 它不求回报, 不需要认可, 而且你付不起. The best elements of the lighthouse are also the best elements of humanity."
人类灯塔的动力是什么?
I think their motivation is based on a belief that somehow their life journey might actu所有y be able to help somebody. Each of the individuals I write about in the new book suffered in some way. 他们失去了一个孩子. 他们失去了一位父母. 他们在与毒瘾作斗争. 威尔斯·克劳瑟失去了生命.
好吧es Crowther ’99 is certainly an inspiring example of the lighthouse effect. 你是怎么想到把他写进书里的?
威尔斯体现了无私的灯塔属性. It is important for us to keep telling his story, because it will never not be necessary. 他已经在9·11袭击中救了自己, and he could have kept going down the stairs of the World Trade Center tower. 但是他没有. He ran into this lobby where there were people 谁 didn’t know the way to safety, 他说了人类灯塔常说的话:“跟我来. 我认得路.“他把人们带到安全的地方, 他又有机会说, “我尽了我的职责, 我救了那些人.但他没有这么做. 他又爬了上去. 他救了，我们相信是十八条人命. 他当时24岁. I never met 好吧es, but there isn’t a time that I tell the story that it doesn’t choke me up. 为什么我们不能都像威尔斯一样呢, knowing full well that most of us are never asked to sacrifice what he did? 我们没有被要求做那种艰难的决定, 但他确实是, 他的回答并非无私, 但是没有片刻的犹豫.
你现在已经写了两本书. 你还参与了什么?
There’s my family, of course, my wife, Tonya, and our children, Quinn, Vaughn, and Kennedy. 所以家庭让我很忙. 然后我在一家名为Workhuman的公司负责全球人力资源. 在此之前，我在Walgreens和Monster担任高级人力资源职位.com. 我很享受这段特殊的旅程.
The focus of much of your work has been helping corporations diversify their workforces.
在我职业生涯的大部分时间里，情况确实如此. 这不是我今天做的主要事情，但它是其中的一个元素. I have always thought that the ideals of this country are big enough to be inclusive, and I think we’ve been at an inflection point these last several years that’s forcing us to ask some much harder questions about that. This idea, somehow, that the ideals of the nation aren’t big enough to include 所有 people 谁 love this country and 谁 serve it and are great contributors to it—that 应该 not be part of our tradition, 但也有一些响亮的声音在暗示这一点, 我们几乎每天都能看到. So it’s left to us to decide how we are going to find that more common story.
我们的公司和机构在这个过程中扮演什么角色?
好吧, 我会在2020年5月告诉你, the murder of George Floyd created a major inflection point in this country. 这是公司之间的一条分界线. That was the point where corporations acknowledged that they had a particular responsibility to address inequities in our society, 特别是系统性的不平等. 他们对股东负有受托责任吗? 是的，他们有. 再到市场? 是的，他们有. 但他们也对社会负有责任. 无论是警察的不公平, 或者医疗保健, 或住房, you’re seeing companies leaning into this and doing so rather unapologetic所有y.
因此，企业和机构也可以成为灯塔?
I believe so, and I would suggest that the lighthouse effect is a way to find our more common story. 电子游戏软件就是一个很好的例子. 我来自非裔美国人的传统, and there are tenets of that culture that are also tenets of the Jesuit expression, 那就是信仰和服务. 灯塔效应对我来说就是寻找
that connection between those two worlds that can advance us toward a greater good. 因此，尽管如此，我仍然非常充满希望和乐观. I think history shows us that we’ll bend toward the greater good, even if we have moments of doubt. 